IRRATIONAL FEARS

There are plenty of things to be fearful of, but some are just plain irrational.  A fear is irrational when there is no truth behind it, or when it is not based on good judgement, clear thinking or reason.  When faced with a fear, you may consider taking inventory:

  • Am I basing my thoughts and feelings on good judgement?
  • Am I thinking clearly and using reason?
  • Is this something that I can work through?
  • Do I need help with this?
  • Is this keeping me from something important?

I have referenced two articles below that go into some detail on irrational fears and phobias.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/phobias-and-fears.htm

https://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/22-irrational-fears-that-are-actually-perfectly-no-82j3?utm_term=.usZGYa0jb#.rsDmrN21d

I know from my own experience and my experience working with my clients that it is important to be able to distinguish one type of fear from another.  Life is about living to your fullest potential and you don’t want to be kept from that because of fears that you can conquer.  Sometimes it takes determined effort and perseverance.  Sometimes it requires help from a professional. Most importantly it is about taking the first step, and the second, and staying the course until you can move past the fear or at least live with it and still accomplish your goal.

If a coach is what you need to help you get passed your fear, then I am here to help.  Contact me for a free “get to know me” session and let’s see what we can do together.

DOING WHAT SCARES YOU

There are a variety of reasons that someone might not take the leap and do something new.   The fear that it just won’t be good enough is one.  Perfection and success, however, have nothing to do with one another.

I say: make a mistake; no, make lots of mistakes.  JUMP. Do the thing that scares you.  Don’t let anything or anyone stop you.  Just take the first step, go ahead, and do it!  When you do you will be on the road to success.

It is probably going to feel a bit uncomfortable.  Consider how a pianist feels when faced with a new piece of music or an athlete determined to break a record.  Is the piano piece perfect on the very first try, or the record broken the first time out of the blocks? Of course not.  It takes repeated practice to build the confidence to perform at a higher level.

This principle applies to everyone.  No matter what you are trying to achieve, even if it’s as simple as trying to get your children to bed on time consistently.  The bottom line is, in life we cannot expect that everything we do will be perfect immediately. And, sometimes, even with practice we may come up short, but that’s okay too.  The more you do, the more confidence you will build and the more you will improve. This will propel you along the road to success.

The beauty of this method is that the more you act in this way the more you will fuel your ability to tackle the next scary task.  You are exercising and building your success muscles.

So, go out there boldly and tackle all the scary hard stuff.  You may not get it perfect, but you will have success; success by doing.

If you need help jumping, let me know, I would be happy to give you a little push.

FEAR OF CRITICISM

Facing my own fears has given me first-hand knowledge about how challenging it can be.  My latest jump has been recording a podcast with my sister, Kirsten.  Fear kept me stuck in the “just an idea” stage for over a year.  Ironically, we chose fear as our first topic.  I’m glad we did because it gave me the opportunity to revisit this subject in more depth.  As a coach, I am constantly discussing fear with my clients and offering my ideas on staying focused, persevering and most importantly, deciding!  Because, giving in to fear is ultimately a choice.

Our fears will always be there, even as we are about to record our 5th podcast this Saturday, the fear creeps up and whispers in my ear all the negative words of an enemy.  Should I listen and give up?  No, because faith (or confidence) in myself and something greater than myself is more powerful than that fear. Where does the confidence come from?  Evidence. Evidence from my past accomplishments that tells me:  oh yes I can!

I want to share this quote I found from Eleanor Roosevelt when I was just beginning to expand my coaching practice and facing some fears about putting myself out there.  I reread this quote over and over to remind myself how important facing my fear was for me, not just as a coach but as a person.

“There is no experience from which you can’t learn something…The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

It’s about deciding.  Are you going to live a life filled with rich experiences or live in fear and hardly live at all?  As Jen Sincero tells us in her book, You Are a Badass, “There is a moment when you decide, screw it, I’m going for it, and the thrill overtakes the fear.  And then you’re flying on a magic carpet” … Sincero concludes that on the other side of fear is your freedom.”

It’s not about perfection; it’s about deciding to do something no matter what, whether you are good at it or not.  How will you know until you try?  I challenge you to take the leap and go for it.

If you need help, you can find me at timefinderpro.com.  I would love to help you soar.

IS FEAR STANDING IN YOUR WAY?

Facing my own fears has given me first-hand knowledge about how challenging it can be.  My latest jump has been recording a podcast with my sister, Kirsten.  Fear kept me stuck in the “just an idea” stage for over a year.  Ironically, we chose fear as our first topic.  I’m glad we did because it gave me the opportunity to revisit this subject in more depth.  As a coach, I am constantly discussing fear with my clients and offering my ideas on staying focused, persevering and most importantly, deciding!  Because, giving in to fear is ultimately a choice.

Our fears will always be there, even as we are about to record our 5th podcast this Saturday, the fear creeps up and whispers in my ear all the negative words of an enemy.  Should I listen and give up?  No, because faith (or confidence) in myself and something greater than myself is more powerful than that fear. Where does the confidence come from?  Evidence. Evidence from my past accomplishments that tells me:  oh yes I can! 

I want to share this quote I found from Eleanor Roosevelt when I was just beginning to expand my coaching practice and facing some fears about putting myself out there.  I reread this quote over and over to remind myself how important facing my fear was for me, not just as a coach but as a person.

“There is no experience from which you can’t learn something…The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

It’s about deciding.  Are you going to live a life filled with rich experiences or live in fear and hardly live at all?  As Jen Sincero tells us in her book, You Are a Badass, “There is a moment when you decide, screw it, I’m going for it, and the thrill overtakes the fear.  And then you’re flying on a magic carpet” … Sincero concludes that on the other side of fear is your freedom.”

It’s not about perfection; it’s about deciding to do something no matter what, whether you are good at it or not.  How will you know until you try?  I challenge you to take the leap and go for it.

If you need help, you can find me at timefinderpro.com.  I would love to help you soar.

MEDIA DIET

This week I’m throwing down a challenge:  take a break from the news!

The mainstream “news” is a multi-billion dollar industry that is filling your mind with a lot of rot.  That’s right, I said it.

Many years ago I made the conscience decision to stop watching the news in all its many and varied forms and to only selectively read about current events. It was the best decision I ever made.  There are times when I am in the dark about an event, but trust me it’s not long and you would be surprised how up to date you can stay without trying.

If we are what we think about and our minds are such a powerful thing, than it tracks that we have to be careful what we feed our minds on a regular basis.

At this moment we are deep in media frenzy over the presidential candidates and the issues that are “so important”.  This is a perfect example of how most of what you learn on the news is bias in some way and filled with hate at its worst and negativity at its very best.  It is certainly no way to find the truth.

To some the daily consumption of “news” in its many forms is an addiction.  It can be very difficult to give it up.  However, I challenge you to do it for 10 days and witness the peace and joy that can replace the time you waste on this daily dose of negative energy.

Take the time instead to do some meditation or prayer.  Read or watch some positive uplifting material.  The idea is to replace your current news binge with a more mind healthy practice.

Make an appointment to talk with me about how you will use all that free time.

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

I suggest you ask yourself the question: “What do I really want?” every week, every month, every quarter and every year in preparation for the next question: “What am I going to do?”  It seems very obvious and yet so many people zigzag through life never having asked the question, what do I really want from this life? Perhaps you have asked once or twice but didn’t do anything about it or lost your way.  The reason I suggest that you revisit the question so often is so that you will stay focused on the destination and do what is required to make it happen.  You may also find that some things will change as you change and some things will continue to be a burning desire.

We want to avoid writing goals out, (or even worse just thinking them in our head), at the top of the year only to have them forgotten by March.  There is nothing worse than finding yourself watching another “ball drop” on the “Rockin’ New Years Eve Show”, disappointed because another year has gone by and you didn’t accomplish any of the goals you were so excited and determined to fulfill the year before.

“This year is going to be different”, is the usual proclamation. But how will you make it different?  It takes a lot more than writing goals on a piece of paper.  For them to be actualized those goals have to be reviewed on a regular basis and broken down into bite size pieces, reverse engineered if you will. That is where the second question comes into play: What am I going to do?  Or perhaps the better question is; what am I willing to do?  Action is the key to making anything happen.  What action will you take to realize your goal?  What sacrifice are you willing to make?  When will you do it?  How will you do it?  What will you need to change?  What skills might be required that you don’t currently have?

When 2017 arrives what will you have accomplished?

If knowing what you want is a stumbling block, it would be my privilege to help you find your true purpose and calling.

 

ENTHUSIASM

How do you become the best possible version of yourself?

You make changes each and every day to become a little bit better.  You strive to work on new habits and strengthen your self-discipline, learn new skills, develop talents, and gain new knowledge.  You become the best by setting goals and working to achieve them.  Each day you’re incrementally better than you were the day before until one day… you are there!

Life is a journey and you should be enjoying it.  The first step in planning a journey is mapping a course.  The destination is very important; however, so are all the little steps along the way.  According to Napoleon Hill, in his book Keys to Success, enthusiasm is a key ingredient.  He compares it to gasoline’s role in propelling a car forward.  “Enthusiasm is power”, he states, “it can transform adversity, failure and temporary defeat into action”.

The following is a list of some of the benefits of enthusiasm according to Napoleon Hill:

  1. Increase the intensity of your thinking and imagination
  2. Acquire a pleasing and convincing tone of voice
  3. Reduce the drudgery in your work
  4. Have a more attractive personality
  5. Gain self-confidence
  6. Strengthen your mental and physical health
  7. Build your personal initiative
  8. Overcome physical and mental fatigue more easily
  9. Spread your enthusiasm to others

Let’s be enthusiastic as we journey down the road toward our big dreams and goals.  It reminds me of some wonderful road trips with my family growing up.  Singing songs in the back of a station wagon with my sister and picnicking along the way on cross country journeys.  Oh, how much sweeter the destination when the trip itself was so enjoyable.

Contact me if you need help mapping out your journey to success.

FOLLOW THROUGH

I just finished reading, “Changeology”, by John C. Norcross, PhD.  I learned again, you must follow through.  I read a lot of books about success, change, goals, habits, coaching, being highly effective, organization, etc.  I have come to the conclusion that the key to it all is follow through.

Why?  Because no matter how many books you read, seminars you attend, or coaching sessions you have, if you don’t follow through you will not succeed.

How many diet have you started? How many goals have you re-set? How many times have you vowed to never again: fill in the blank?

We have great intentions.  To intend means to have in mind; plan.  Intention is synonymous with purpose, goal, end, aim or objective.

Typically, we set a goal and decide on an objective, bit that is just the first step.  If you are doing that much I applaud you, because it is exactly what you should be doing, but it isn’t enough.  Just as it isn’t enough to spend a weekend at a personal development retreat or do six weeks of coaching only to return to your life without taking any action.

I challenge you to follow through.  Stick with the diet, work at your big dream, keep the promises you make to yourself.  If you do you will succeed.

As always, I am here to help.  If you need help with your follow through make an appointment when we can talk.

GIVING UP THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN’T

“If you think you can or you if you think you can’t…you’re right!”  -Henry Ford

What do you believe you can do?  Did you know that limitations are of the mind?  Everything begins with a thought.  Everything that I have studied and every experience I have had tell the same truth:  whatever you believe becomes your reality and your determination and work will overcome any obstacle.

We have two lives.  The first is the life we are currently living and the second is the unlived life within us; our yet to be manifested plans, dreams and untapped opportunity. Between these two lives is a self-sabotaging part of us that works to prevent us from reaching our fullest potential. This is why so many would-be writers don’t write, so many aspiring painters don’t paint, and why wannabe entrepreneurs never pursue their business endeavors.

This saboteur is your own self-limiting beliefs.

The time to overcome those beliefs is now or you run the risk of feeling regret later in life about opportunities missed, goals not attained, and adventures never taken.

Complete the following sentences:

  • If I could change my life right now, I would…
  • If my life ended tomorrow, I would regret not having achieved…

Take a minute to give the following quote from Oma Edoja some thought.

“Self limiting beliefs act like brakes on our progress.  They leave us acting forward, but believing backward.  Attempting to move forward when you have backward programming is like expecting a photocopy to be different from the original.”

Your inner saboteur will continue to live inside of you if you don’t take steps to rid yourself of it. Jim Rohn describes self-limiting beliefs as weeds and we all know what weeds are like and how you have to attack a weed to get rid of it for good.

I have but skimmed the tip of this iceberg and leave you with the following thought:

The best thing you can do is crowd out “I can’t” with “I can”.  Napoleon Hill said it best, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”  In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument it can deliver to you literally everything you want.  It will take deliberate work, but you are worth it!!

THE POWER OF GRATITUDE

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years.  Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

While we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain.  So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. For gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word.  We must learn a new way of looking at things, form a new habit.  That can take some time.

This is why practicing gratitude makes so much sense.  When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored.  It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention.  Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being.  Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for:  colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies.  What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

  • If you are visual person, make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.
  • Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.
  • Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
  • When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.
  • Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for it.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling.  That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Are you struggling to develop a habit?  Let’s talk, I can help.